And unto them he said...

10) Cars were made the way they are for a reason...do not second guess a team of highly-paid engineers with 6-year graudate degrees and decades of experience.

9) Communists and terrorists do exist. Thinking otherwise makes you one or the other.

8) Leave one spot betwen urinals, and remember: shake it once, that's fine. Shake it twice, that's OK. Shake it three times, you're playing with yourself!

7) Guns don't kill people. People kill people. Depriving a man of his gun is the surest and most effective way to enslave him.

6) Don't discriminate on the basis of race; hate all people equally. Anti-hate crimes legislation and affirmative action are tantamount to thought policing and racism.

5) Believing everything you see or hear on the internet is foolish. Be wary of all sites but TBR.

4) Spirituality is fine, but religion is the adoration of what cannot be understood and the rejection of that which is proven.

3) The American flag shall be taken care of per the rules of the American Legion. Any other use will result in death by firing squad...red!

2) Support our troops. If you don't, you don't support your freedom, and you don't deserve it.

1) One must never, under any circumstances, speak ill of The Simpsons.